The Etters Rule All!

Sweet, sweet mother of all things musical and rhythmic, you have heard my desperate pleas! I shall never deny thee for the rest of my days! The ground has opened up in the Netherlands and from the bowels of the underworld, this band was spat forth for this world to marvel. For what I hear before me is one of the most ferocious, bile spewing garage punk bands I have ever heard in my lowly existence. The Etters are mean, they're nasty, and they hate everything there is to do about Christmas! I feel like my soul is not yet worthy to receive a gift such as this band. A Dutch punk rock trio with songs that are as catchy as they are dangerous, sweaty and rude. So what if it's sung entirely in Dutch! I can still feel the attitude you fuckers! I know The Etters are mocking me in that foreign tongue of theirs, I know I'm being spat upon and you know what?? I love it! Fury is a universal language and I hear what The Etters are hurling out, loud and clear, believe you me! I feel it in the marrow of my bones and in the shakiness of my knees when I listen to their records. I just know this band is singing about nothing but bad news. If you love bands like Loli and The Chones, The Ills, and The Spoiled Brats, drop what you're doing right now and go get these record! They're sure to be a hit with degenerates and petty criminals all around the world. 

The Etters - S/T 7" (Fish & Cheap)
The band consists of Jerry Hormone (of Jerry Hormone Ego Trip and The Apers) on guitar, Luna Becking on bass and Kate Oram on drums and they apparently they all take turns singing. I should mention that this record was limited to 50 copies and sold out so fast it blew the doors off the Fish & Cheap clubhouse. So chances of you getting your muddy little paws on this record are pretty slim and if you do, I salute you. This is a single sided record with three songs (that don't appear on the full length I should add) that collectively clock in at a little over 3 minutes. They're not throw aways either, hard, fast and aggressive is just the Etters style. The tracks, translated are "There's Nothing About You That I Don't Hate", "Cat Litter Breath", and "Eat My Snot". So as you can see, this 7"s does not feature a kinder, gentler Etters than on the LP. This is just as slap on the face, kick in the teeth punk rock you'd expect from this band and that's why I love them so. 

The Etters - Maken Je hartstille DOOD! LP (Fink City / Bachelor Records)
Let's get something out of the way, first thing. The translation of the record title is "Will Kill You!" If that doesn't say it all right there, if that doesn't paint a mental picture for you, I don't know what will! I talk so much about the Etters being so evil, nasty and mischievous, but what also really needs to be mentioned is that these songs rock, hard. They rock like so very few things on this planet have ever done. The riffs in the band's arsenal are played at a respectable, break neck velocity but somehow still manage to dart into your ear canal and straight into your bran to nest for a season. Not only are these songs constructed all super catchy like, but they're executed with unmatched attitude and surliness. And even Miles Davis once said that only 20 % of music are the notes being playing, and 80% is the attitude of the motherfucker playing them. You're move Etters. 

fishandcheaprecords.bandcamp

clampdownpressing.com/finkcity

bachelorrecords.com

The Drags vs Teengenerate

 

The Drags

Now who in their right mind would put these two mammoth bands against each other, right? I mean, you'd have to be some sort of cruel sadist of some type to do something like that. It's like telling someone they could either have water or oxygen! Besides there would be no real winner if you think about it. It'd be like Godzilla Vs Mechagodzilla or Superman Vs Bizarro. We'd just be left with a planet of destruction with the only loser being us. I was lucky enough to be around when both of these bands were at their beginning, and experience them go thru primary 1st stage propulsion, then go into booster separation and achieve orbital status in the heavens above. 

Teengenerate 

I know everyone who knows even a tiny morsel about underground rock n roll knows about the mighty Teengenerate from Tokyo, Japan and the majestic Drags from Albuquerque, New Mexico. Even though not everyone was around then these bands were demolishing venues and leaving audiences shell shocked. We are still lucky enough to have record labels like Total Punk and Hozac Archival to recognize how important it is to keep these bands in the current zeitgeist. These labels put forth the blood and sweat to put these records out, in an effort to enrich the lives of rock n roll fans of all ages. These bands should be household names as much as The Stooges or the Ramones and who knows, maybe someday they will. 

The interesting thing about these two bands is that, as many times as they get mentioned in the same sentence together, they had different angles at which they seemed to approach their music. While Teengenerate seemed to come at it from a more 70's punk angle, while The Drags took a more Sonics/Link Wray approach. Is either better than the other, well I'll let you decide that. Were we lucky to have these bands walk among us for as long as they did, absolutely! 

Teengenerate - Live At The Empty Bottle LP (Hozac Archival Records) 
This record was recorded live on November 5th, 1995, over 30 years ago and Teengenerate's music hasn't aged a bit. It still remains just as savage and unbridled as ever because only a select few bands have even come close to delivering rock n roll on the same level as these dudes once did. This recording captures Fink and Fifi's guitars perfectly, with that total gutting effect they have on their victims. And the rhythm section of  Sammy and Shoe teaming up as they do, feels like they're beating you in the skull and that yes, you should take the beating personal. The recording captures all the crowd getting all crazy, the band yelling at the sound guy and audience. It really preserved the ambience of this club show perfectly. All the Teengenerate hits are here as well as those killer covers the band made famous. Is this a great sounding record, remastered in crystal clear, high resolution audio? HELL NO! And why would anyone in their right mind want to neuter a rock n roll band by doing that kind of shit to a record anyway! Rock n roll is supposed to be dirty, loud, and dizzyingly distorted. That's what gives it it's unique energy and charisma. Something this live recording, and this band for that matter, is absolutely dripping with. 
 
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The Drags - Dragsploitation...Now LP & Stop Rock And Roll LP (Total Punk Records)
I remember first listening to Dragsploitation Now, which was then on a 10"record, for the first time. I remember how loud and disturbing those blood curdling screams were in the first song, the title track. That, coupled with those angry, scratching surf riffs were so jarring and off-putting. It gave me nails on the chalk board feelings, but strangely I was drawn to it. Then after than, the record just lunged straight into one brilliant garage rock anthem after another. The guitars are like a knife fight, jabbing and recoiling, with the drums circling around you, just wafting for their moment to strike. But The Drags next LP, Stop Rock And Roll took everything that was glorious about Dragsploitation...Now, poured black powder all over it and lit in on fire. The band took their music to a whole new level on their next record and secured their position on the Mount Rushmore of garage punk. The 12 songs on Stop Rock And Roll have the force and intensity to sink continents. These tunes are catchy as hell garage surf punk but with a dark side. They instill a level of anxiety and paranoia in you that puts a maniacal grin on your face and makes you want to put on a purple suit and plot how you're finally going to kill that pesky Batman. 

totalpunkrecords.com

hozacrecords.com